// Why is happiness so hard to come by?//

// Idk about anyone else, but I’m completely freaking out about becoming a junior.//

Like actually freaking out. Like when I think about it, I get ridiculously anxious. It’s not that I don’t want to grow up, it’s that I am beginning to realize what everyone means by “you’ll miss college.” Next year’s such an important year and as much as I want to get it over with, I don’t want to begin.

What’s worse is that I keep thinking about how when my brother was a junior in college, I was like wth he is so old. In a couple years he’s going to be so independent, and he will be starting a life of his own. He’s a junior. And now, here I am in that same position and I really don’t feel as old as I depicted my brother to be at the time. But idk if that’s delusion.

WAAAAH someone tell me it’ll be okay. I get overwhelmed and overly anxious too quickly.

// Enlightenment.//

My hindu phil class is awesome. And I didn’t really realize how great it is until last week when we had a visit from a Swami whose stories and life amazed me. I’ve learned so much more about my culture and our beliefs. I always had an understanding of it, but not in as much detail. I hate when people actually say that they don’t think I’m “indian enough” … whatever that may mean. I’ve actually had people say that to me a couple times and whether it was a joke or it was serious, it actually really annoys me because I’m very religious and I know a lot about my culture so forgive me for not flaunting it. Religion isn’t something you’re supposed to flaunt. You don’t believe in something and pray for others. You do it for yourself. But I digress. That class has really taught me so much and I find myself wanting to learn so much more about my culture. I never thought a class could have such an effect on me.

// Too stressed about life.//

I would just like to get accepted into med school already, is that too much to ask for? And I would like everyone around me to be happy and healthy and nice. That’s a simple wish.

// 20 months.//

I cannot believe it. You’re so good for me and I love you. I don’t need to say anything else.